Film Review: Bad Boys 4 Life

January has always been the dumping ground for films and relationships.  Which is why when I saw they were releasing BB3 at this time, that didn’t really instill confidence.  I’d say the same amount of confidence Mets fan of having Diaz come in from in the bullpen.  Anyway, let’s bring you up to speed.  Marcus Burnett and Mike LAAAA-RHY are back in Miami and 25 years old than when they made their initial appearance.  Will Smith barely looks any older while Martin Lawrence looks like he’s allergic to shellfish and just polished off 10 lobsters and then got stung by 10,000 bees.  Marcus is a now grandfather and fully into Roger Murtagh, “I’m getting too old for this shit” territory.  Marcus is ready to retire and Smith is not.  Things change when the son of a Mexican drug lord shoots up Mike LAAAA-RHY because Mike and other public figures sent Papi to prison.  Mike recovers and it’s vendetta time but not for Marcus, he’s in full Murtagh mode.  THE PLOT THICKENS….

So what’s different with BB3 than the others?  No Michael Bay at the helm but new directors Bilal Fallah and Adil El Arbi do not change the playbook when it comes to action choreography. Definitely see the slowed down 360 shot after a terse moment or 2 and fantastic cinematography as well.  Joey Pantaliano (Ralphie Cakes) reprises his role as Captain Howard so you know a few, “Don’t break the rules and fuck me” speeches are coming.  We also get the same ribbing back and forth between Smith and Lawrence which feels like those old, comfortable slippers that always put a smile on your face.  And what Bad Boys film would be complete without Theresa Randle as Marcus’s wife giving him an earful.  Seriously, you think she would divorce him by now or he would tell her cut the shit; he’ll never stop fucking up and the department will keep buying them new houses or cars whenever bad things happen to them.  Women?  AmIright?

What’s new?  We also get a new team working with Mike and Marcus within the Miami PD, the AMMO squad.  Vanessa Hudgens from High School Musical (never saw it, won’t bother) plays one of the squad and goshdarnit, she’s too damn cute to be shooting bad guys.  And let’s cue in the old guy jokes by the other dudes in the task force.  The creation of this task force beautifully sets ups the franchise for sequels or even a spinoff.  But don’t get cute with the spinoff idea, this group doesn’t have the charisma or humor to get people to drop $15 without Smith or Lawrence as the driving forces.

I liked Bad Boys but felt #2 dragged on.  This one was solid; top level action and had a John Wick feel to the fight scenes to it.  A couple of twists including a BIG one.  The soundtrack wasn’t as good as the first 2 but that’s because hip hop music has gone down the shitter in the last 10 years.  Example?  There are TWO Black Eyed Peas songs in here.

One more fun observation.  DJ Khaled has a scene where he plays a butcher and Mike has a few questions for him.  Mike uses a meat hammer on his hand to get some answers.  I feel Mike should’ve smashed his hand a final time while saying, “This is for your shitty music, ANOTHER ONE.” Now that kids, is a smart, well-written joke.  You better fucking acknowledge greatness when you see it.

Bad Boys For Life:

7 out of 10.  What you gonna do? Turn your brain off and enjoy shit blowing up for 2 hours.

Week 15 NFL picks Against the Spread ATS

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5-3 last week so more freeeee money came rolling in so I continue to make $.  If you’re hitting these picks, do the right thing and paypal (Kgootee@hotmail.com) a cut of your winnings.  If it wasn’t for me, that free money wouldn’t be rolling in and you’ve have to do something like work a job to earn a few bucks for Christmas presents.  

KC is home after a 10 day layoff against the Titans. And if you’re going to the game, load up on blackberry brandy cause it’s gonna be cold. I know, that’s something your grandfather would tell you to do, especially when you park at “make out point” with your girl. Tenn doesn’t put up THAT many points and neither does KC. It’s 14 degrees there at 11:50am and feels like -8. The ball is gonna feel like a rock so..

I’m taking the under 42

Baltimore screwed me on mon night with a blown coverage td so I lost by .5. Now they play a demoralized, non-motivated Philly team at home. Philly d has been as awful as the reviews as the new Will Smith film. I mean, did he hire the same person who also screened scripts for Jim Carrey after 2000? Bal needs this game to stay within the hunt and the number is friendly. I l know the public loves it and Jimmy Smith is out for Bal but philly is 2-10 ATS the week before they play the Giants

I’m taking the Ravens -5.5

The Packers own December. The Packers own the Bears. The Bears are playing well ATS recently with Barkley. Aaron Rodgers has a calf that is flaring up as of late. What should you do? Here’s a cold (pun intended) hard fact. It’s also colder than Hillary Clinton’s labias in Chicago. As of 12:35 pm, it’s 11 degrees but feels like -4. Don’t be a hero, just win money.

I’m taking the gb under 38.5

It’s been too long since New Orleans lit it up. They’re playing in AZ and both teams aren’t playing for anything. I love the saints in a dome and I like AZ to put up points at home. It’s gonna be a loosey goosey atmosphere so…

I’m taking AZ over 50

Bucs are 5-0 ATS in their last 5. Dalllas 15-31 ats in december but throw those numbers out because that’s under Romo. Dallas covered only 11/37 as a home favorite. Again, a lot of that is under Romo. But Dallas is losing steam and the Bucs are gaining steam. There are enough points are enough for me to

Take the Bucs +7

And in my locks of the week:

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Oak has had 10 days off to think about that stinker in KC. They’re on the road where they are 15-2 ATS as visitors. SD lost Melvin Gordon for this week so that means more air show and probably more turnovers from Phillip Rivers. It’s laughable when people say he’s better than Eli. Rivers owns garbage fantasy football time but lacks in the rings department. He hands that ball over like he’s been held at gunpoint. But Oak gives up points as well as scores them. So that’s why I’m taking:

Oak -2.5 and over 49.5