Oh, hi there you tickle monsters. It’s been awhile since I had a film to review but let’s be honest, it’s been a collection of student films, garbage passion projects, and blatant cash grabs. Over the Thanksgiving weekend, I saw 3 films that bear worth reviewing. But before you read my critiques, why not download our new podcast, “Gutting the Sacred Cow.” If you love movies and want to see other comedians try and trash well loved or successful films, you’ll love this. We’re on iTunes, Iheartradio, Google play, Stitcher, Spreaker, and Spotify.
Bottom line: if you hate Mr. Rogers, you’re a communist that needs to be immediately deported and then set afire in a cage while in transit to Burma. He TRULY is the closest human to being faultless. And if that theme music doesn’t bring an immediate tear to your eye, you’re more robotic than the T-1000 from T2 or the guy who played Oz from American Pie. Tom Hanks, who can honestly do no wrong, plays a fantastic Fred Rogers. If you don’t know his story, I’m not going over it now. However, this film doesn’t make Mr. Rogers the focal point of this story. It’s about the journalist assigned to do a small piece on him, Lloyd Vogel (Matthew Rhys). Lloyd is dealing with his father (Chris Cooper who looks like Sebulba from Star Wars Episode 1. Don’t believe me, google it) and Mr Rogers somehow gets Lloyd to open up about his tarnished relationship and of course, tries to help him.
If you didn’t see the outstanding documentary, “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?”, you better get off your ass and watch it. Because you’re not going to get as much insight about Mr. Rogers in this film. Although, I had a great laugh when Mr Rogers comes over to visit Lloyd’s ailing father and his sister’s new husband blurts out, “Are you a Navy Seal?” That was one of the urban legends that was going around for years. There are great Mr. Rogers moments: the opening show segment with Hanks walking in, singing the song, and flipping the shoes. My eyes watered up and had the nostalgic smile a mile wide on my face. You also see several show re-enactments with Hanks CGI’ed in that you may remember from the show or have seen in WYBMN.
This film is good but again, I’m not as interested in the journalist’s story as much as I am seeing Tom Hanks chew up scenery and seeing kids with disabilities have breakthroughs. Who knows if the documentary didn’t alter the script for BDITN as they didn’t want two biographical stories in 2 years. I wouldn’t have liked BDITN as much if there wasn’t the doc to get into the nitty gritty material. This film is good, the doc is better.
I give it a 6.5/10
How many “whodunits” have there been in recent memory? Memento? Pretty good. Clue? That was such a campy yet fun ride? Too bad they’re remaking it. LA Confidential? FANTASTIC. Murder on the Orient Express (original and reboot SUCKED)? So I was quite glad to see “Knives Out” invigorate the genre. Great cast but you know what scared me? Seeing Rian Johnson wrote and directed this. Cause last we saw of ol RJ, he went out and gave us a C- Star Wars film in the Last Jedi. He also did Looper which gives him some credibility back. Was this worse than dinner theater murder mysteries? Let’s find out.
Christopher Plummer plays Harlan Thrombey, who looks like he could’ve been one of the brothers from Trading Places. Don’t worry, he doesn’t uses racial slurs. Harlan is an uber successful mystery writer who after celebrating his 85th birthday, falls victim to murder. His children and daughter in law all have had reason to off him as they’ve been cut out of his will. But his caregiver/nurse, Marta Cabrera (Ana de Armas), suddenly finds herself as the sole benefactor of the will. Daniel Craig is the detective hired by an unknown source to find out who did it. Zod from Superman, the mom from 6th sense, Laurie Strode, Captain America, and Sonny Crockett play the kids/in laws who are in question.
Obviously, I’m not getting into details to not spoil it but the cast perfectly hums along. Daniel Craig was fantastic as the smarmy, know it all (most of the time detective) who really has a ball with this role. You may figure out who did it (I did) but you’ll NEVER figure out the how or why. I changed my logic at least 4 times and was still wrong. And that’s why this film is amazing. Anytime you get a layered story and can’t figure out AND buy the process/conclusion, it’s a fantastic investment of time. Run, don’t walk, to see this film. And then when you get out of the theater, download our latest episode of Gutting the Sacred Cow.
This film is fantastic, 8.5/10
And now for one of the most anticipated films of 2019. The last time we saw Scorsese, he got Margot Robbie topless several times in a film. And we owe him a debt of gratitude for that. But now he returns to the genre in which he created and inspired tons of knockoffs and a few winners. The man who gave us Casino, Goodfellas, Mean Streets brings back several of the actors who shot to the stratosphere. DeNiro, Pacino, AND he got Pesci out of retirement. Can’t go wrong, right? Well, let’s see.
First off, prepare yourself. This is a 3.5 hour film. But thankfully, you’re watching it at home now so you can pause to pee, get some food, or complain on social media about how long it is. And for all of those who complain about the length, no one seemed to have a problem with Godfather 2 and that was 4 minutes shorter than this. This is the story of Frank Sheeran (Robert Deniro, the man who hasn’t turned any film down since 2003), the guy who painted more houses than Dutch Boy. Ba-dum, ching! First things first: Scorsese CGIs all of the older actors and it’s sometimes quite amusing. My FAVORITE part was when a “younger” DeNiro sloowwwwwly beats up a grocery store own. I mean, it looks like he was in quicksand while giving the guy a beating. DeNiro finds himself working for Russel Buffalino (Welcome back, Joe Pesci!),
DeNiro earns his stripes doing errands for Buffalino and eventually finds himself working with the Teamsters and Jimmy Hoffa (Al Pacino). Shoutout to my buddy Jeff Paul who has few scenes with Pacino as a one of his crew. Hoffa climbs to power while bringing Sheeran along for the ride. Blah, blah, blah, mob stuff happens. But without question, my favorite scene is Pesci explaining to DeNiro why Hoffa has to go. It’s quite reminiscent of the Goodfellas scene is when DeNiro gets the phone call that Tommy is dead. And there’s nothing he can do about it.
Again, people are shitting on this for the length. Does this lag at times? You betcha. Could they have cut some down? Without question. But this is almost a mini series in a film as it tells the entire tale of Sheeran. This is a great switcharoo of roles; a more mellowed Pesci leads the pack and should be nominated for supporting actor. I’ll never compare this to Goodfellas because that’s as close to a perfect film as you can get. Is this better than Casino? No. Departed? Not really. And is this a film you immediately stop changing channels when you see it on? For me, not yet. But this is good and if you like seeing a lot of the old gang together again, this is for you. It’s solid and enjoyable.
I give it a 7/10.