Film Reviews: Bloodshot and the Hunt

God, NOTHING puts a smile on one’s face than going to a movie theater and seeing few or NO one in a theater.  Corona virus=empty movie theaters.  There was NO ONE in the theater for the Hunt with me.  And just 2 people besides be for Bloodshot, euphoria.  Since the NFL season is over and baseball is suspended, I might as well gamble on my health.  The early reviews on Bloodshot and the Hunt were good so I said, what the hell.  Time to douse my seat and popcorn in Purell and do a double dip.

bloodshot

Bloodshot starring Vin Diesel (The Pacifier and the Last Witch Hunter) as a Green Beret, gets killed with his wife, resurrected, and gets fitted with nanotechnology.  Guy Pearce (Count of Monte Cristo) plays the scientist in charge of bringing him and other fallen soldiers back with robotics and enhancements.  Vin’s hell bent on revenge for his wife as much as we’re seeking the same revenge for the last 3 Fast and Furious films.  Folks, they’re bad.  Just admit it.  Well guess what, Vin keeps doing a Groundhog Day of seeking his wife’s killer but with different people as the killer.

I’ll save you time for the reveal, GUY PEARCE IS NOT A GOOD GUY.  He keeps one of his henchwomen, (Elza Gonazalez, an absolute smoke show) attached to an electronic asphyxiating governor.  He keeps recreating the scenarios where Vin Diesel’s wife is killed via an internet web base wired into Diesel’s head.

Here are the problems with this film:

  1. The dialogue is beyond atrocious.  Lazy dick jokes that are more flaccid than Kevin Spacey watching Christina Hendricks jump on a trampoline.
  2. We’ve seen this film before: Universal Soldier, Robocop, Inspector Gadget, Short Circuit.  Just seeing if you’re paying attention.  How does this differentiate itself?  Great action sequences?  No.  Memorable characters?  Barely.  Anything unique in this plot than the other films mentioned?  Only Vin Diesel grunting and Grooting his way through this dirty needle landfill.
  3. I almost walked out of this.  Only reason I didn’t is how was I hoped the final battle would’ve been worth it.  Not only it wasn’t, it was a negative effect on me.  As in, I should’ve walked out before the end and I would’ve had a higher opinion of this film.

There are many other problems with this film but I don’t feel like getting into them here as this film deserves as little real estate in our minds or this column.  This film stinks.  The trailer sucked me in with promises of a different cyborg story but left me worse for wear.  The action was pedestrian, the script was horrendous, and the characters were downright awful.  Quarantine is a fate better than this; avoid this like a soccer stadium full of Corona virus sufferers.

Bloodshot gets a 1.5/10 and I don’t know why I still didn’t walk out.

the hunt

The Hunt is not about the WASP-y horse race in Far Hills, NJ but if it was, I would only hope it showed the guy with a baby arm who chased down a guy who swiped a bottle from our bar.  That was high comedy and a definitely, “you had to be there moment.”  The Hunt is about a group of liberal minded people kidnapping those who are conservatives.  That’s right, hunted.  As in released in an open field with a crate of weapons to chose from and then avoid bullets, arrows, land mines, and people trying to hoard toilet paper.  Get ready for a cast of  “Isn’t that the guy from It’s Always Sunny” and “Holy shit, Uncle Buck’s girlfriend really aged poorly or that’s a hell of a makeup job” and, “Wow, Hilary Swank has 2 Oscars but she needs the money THIS badly?”

I went into this with zero expectations and enjoyed it because of such.  This isn’t torture porn like Saw was nor does it have the intricacies that the first Saw film had.  It can be obviously predictable at times and a couple of minor yet fun twists with Crystal, a bad ass woman from Mississippi who may not be who people think she is.

The Hunt was pushed from last September to March because of political ramifications.  Why?  The already politically charged climate we live in may have been sent to a stratospheric level if this came out, loosely proposed by Trump’s camp.  After seeing this film, will it send those to round up people they disagree with to hunt down?  Hopefully this isn’t a copycat issue like Natural Born Killers was.

90 minutes later and you’re out of the theater no muss, no fuss.  It’s an enjoyable romp with some good satire and some decent action.  You don’t need to drop $15 on it but solid netflix for sure.

I give the Hunt a 6/10