NFL Divisional Playoff Pics Against the Spread (ATS)

3-2 in last weeks picks.  (KC-win, Sea- loss, Sea-under win, Cincy-over loss, GB over, win).  The goddamn weather report for Cincy was full of shit, said it wouldn’t rain until 3rd quarter-ish.  When the game started, it was a full-on monsoon so that bet was immediately fucked.  My biggest bet was GB over and that hit by the end of the 3rd quarter.  No better feeling when you like your bet is a locked winner by the 3rd quarter.

Ne -5.5 and 44

I don’t know why but I think Andy Reid’s Chiefs are the darlings of this year’s playoffs.  They destroyed Hou, (no big deal, I know) but they’ve won a shitload in a row.  I think that IF Houston plays (reports as of 2:38pm saturday) says he’s a go, that pass rush gets better by his presence alone.  Maclin will probably play but a high ankle sprain is a kiss of death, even as a decoy.  I’m a little worried if Edelman and Amendola both return and it seems like Gronk is fine too.  I’m going to wait this one out but I probably will end up taking…

The Pats -5.5  

I just had a complete change of heart, I’m taking the Pats at home.  Gimpy Maclin, gimpy Houston, and Bellichek will take Kelce out of the game.  But in the meantime, watch a dickhead Philly fans get pissed, like this:  Angry Eagles fan rants about Doug Pederson

I may jump on the under of 44 but like the rest of you, I have common sense and will wait closer to game time to see what the weather is.

Arizona -7.5 and 50

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the Arizona Cardinals are winning the Superbowl.  My preseason pick was AZ over NE.  Carson Palmer is due goddamnit and they’re getting a GB team who isn’t fooling anyone.  Yes, they scored points against Wash but that defense stinks worse than anything from Staten Island or Bayonne.  Aaron Rodgers only had 210 passing yards?  Against Wash?  Wow.  That’s not going to happen against a top tiered D like Arizona.  And Carson Palmer and his crew are quite healthy and rested.  Yes, they lost the Honey Badger on D.  But their pass rush is solid and the GB o line is pureed dog shit. GB will put up points in garbage time but won’t be enough to fuck with the spread.  Hence, why I’m taking BIG:

Arizona -7.5 and over 50.

 

Carolina -2.5 and 44

In the head scratcher game of the week, Carolina continues to get no respect.  The line opened at -3, which is Vegas’s way of calling it a coin flip game but the home team gets -3.  Then, it went down all the way to -1.5 and now has bounced back up to 2.5.  Fun fact I heard on Mad Dog Russo’s show:  Sea has flown over 8500 miles in 3 weeks.  That’s a 1pm game tomorrow with a Seattle pre-game meal at 6am.  And everyone and their grandmother’s expected the Seahawks to drop a quarter stick of dynamite into the Vikings b-holes last week.  First off, they didn’t do that.  They looked like dog shit except one on busted coverage play.  Secondly, they shouldn’t even be here because Blair (how about changing your name to a man’s name once you hit 18?) Walsh missed a chip shot.  BTW, your boy hit a 34 yard FG in the Giants practice dome.  Not saying I would’ve made it in the cold with the pressure, I just wanted to take this space and brag a bit.  Carolina is using this spread as bulletin board material and they haven’t been getting respect all year.  So take confidence with selecting…

Carolina -2.5

I would think both teams put up points, 44 is low but the weather should cooperate.  I would go over 44 but not taking it myself.

 

Denver -7.5 and 40.5

Peyton Manning in the playoffs play out SUCKS.  Below .500 record and if the weather is below 44 degrees, he’s winless.  So why is Denver more than a TD favorite?  Because Pitt is banged up more than Jenna Jameson’s asshole.  Antonio Brown, out.  Deangelo Williams, out.  And did you see Ben throwing the ball when he came back in?  He looked like Andy Dick doing his best Tim Tebow impression.  The Denver D was scorched by the Pitt offense earlier in the season but that was when they were not resembling the “after” of a zombie massacre.  Normally, betting against Peyton in the playoffs is one of my favorite things, along with betting against Andy Dalton.  But Pitt is missing their best WR, a solid RB, and I can’t trust Ben’s gimpy shoulder against a top-flight Den D.  So go ahead and take with ease…

Denver -7.5

40.5 leaves virtually no wiggle room for the o/u but if I had to, I would take the under.  This game reeks of 24-13.  I don’t trust Peyton nor a gimpy Ben to put up points.

 

That’s it for this week kids, share this post with your fellow gambling degenerate friends.  And come see me at the Grisly Pear in NYC tonight, 1/16 at 8pm, tomorrow at 6:30, and Lovecraft Bar at 9:30.

Thursday, Jade Bistro in gorgeous Staten Island at 8pm

Saturday at the Immaculate Conception church at 8pm.

 

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