NFL Playoff picks ATS (against the spread)

KC -3 at Hou

This is the snoozer of playoff games, kind of like any Wes Anderson film.  The Chiefs are on fire, winners of 10 straight.  Houston will be missing Clowney on defense, as they have for most of his career.  Alex Smith has a lot better since Andy Reid came into the picture.  Brian Hoyer doesn’t scare me and I don’t care that they’re home.  Yes, they have a good defense but so does KC.  KC should cover the FG easily, I’m thinking KC wins 17-10.

I like the under 40 but I wouldn’t bet it

Pitt -2 at Cincy

I’m writing this at 2:36 and this line has went all over the place.  Opened as a pick ’em, went to Pitt -3, now down to Pitt -2.  I suspect this is because DeAngelo Williams is out and I can’t blame them.  No Andy Dalton means I can’t lay the load against him which I’ve done for the past several years.  Pitt has looked weak for the last few week.  Yes, they covered against Cle but man, did they look bad.  They got smoked against a  dead Ravens team.  I was all ready to say this is Cincy’s year to get off the schneid; especially getting 3 points, but now I’m getting a weird feeling.  So I’m waiting till kickoff to see where the line is.  If it gets down to -1, I’ll take Pitt.  If it gets to -3, I’m taking Cincy and the points.

I kind of like the over of 45 and just may take this instead if the line is -2.

The score will be around 27-24.  Who wins?  I still don’t know, ask me at kickoff when the line settles.

Seattle -4.5 at Minn

Now Marshawn Lynch is out!?  He didn’t make the trip to Minnesota where it’s going to be colder than Hillary Clinton’s vaginal cave.  First Viking playoff game in a long time.  Teddy Bridgewater just came off a sunday night of dismantling the Packers.  That game was closer than it looked.  The Seahawks came into town week 13 and took a stinky dump on the Vikings and I just don’t see why they can’t do it again.  You know Carroll is keeping 8 in the box to contain AP and daring TB to beat him in the air.  I just don’t see the Vikings putting up a fight, especially with the Seattle defense firing on all cylinders.  I know the world loves the Seahawks and the line will probably move down since Lynch is out but sometimes the answer is the most obvious one.

I hate taking the under when it’s LOWWWW, (40) but it’s going to be colder than a BJ from Tilda Swinton.  That ball is going to be a rock and a defensive battle.  I like Seattle and the under, 17-13.

Washington -1 vs GB

The game that NO ONE can figure out.  Can Aaron Rodgers’s o-line stop letting the guy get sacked who gets his dick sucked by Olivia Wilde ?  Can the discount Double Check obese ginger get into a car accident so I don’t have to see his Sloth-like face on my TV ever again?  Will Washington rise to the occasion at home after what seems like an eternal absence from the playoffs?  I say yes but I’m not overly confident.

Both defenses suck and I LOVE the over, 45.5, because they’ll be more points scored than cases of woman beating by Chris Brown but not much more.  Take the over instead of the game, a much SAFER pick.  I’ll call it Wash 27-24 and Kirk Cousins lives to for the right to get slaughtered next week in AZ.